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Okay, this gets into one of those dangerous continuity/history areas that I usually try to avoid - because I've been a fanboy for far too long myself to want to tread into the continuity waters all that often. But for sake of answering the question... actually, it was never mentioned that they were "active members" of the League. Just that the mere mention of the name was enough to set Clark, J'onn and Arthur rolling with laughter.

In my book - and let's face it, this could essentially be considered "my book" - the storied, sordid history of Zan and Jayna has become one of the League's biggest "in-jokes". *coughcough* Much like it has in the real DCU *coughcough* The full story on how they became such is an interesting view into the world of Superheroes, marketing and public image. A tragic tale of a good idea gone bad and the lives that were affected, changed and, sadly, destroyed will all be revealed in:


CT1's Behind the Capes: The Wonder Twins Story.
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It all started many years ago when the Justice League was young - basically the first incarnation of the "Big Seven" League - and their popularity was such that many a marketing firm tried to capitalize on the image of the League and its members. It was a simpler time, when no one in the Superhero Community ever considered that Trademarking or Copyrighting their name or image was a necessity. Most of them viewed the small trinkets, T-shirts and even toys as simple celebrations of their personas - young kids looking up to their favorite role-models.

As time marched on, more and more budding entrepreneurs began to hop on the "Superhero" bandwagon - no pesky copyright issues or licensing fees made manufacturing Superhero merchandise a lucrative business. The industry exploded, inundating the market with everything from Superman coffee mugs to Aquaman swimming pools, The Flash running shorts to Wonder Woman toaster ovens.

Then, at one point, the Justice League was approached by an Entertainment company, Banna Harbera, about a Justice League Saturday morning cartoon series. The League's reaction was the same as it always was in these situations - You are free to do what you want, but the League will not condone, endorse or in any way acknowledge any private commercial venture. And while individual members may not have their names or likenesses copyrighted, the name "Justice League" was trademarked - thanks to the forward thinking of one of the League's first financial backers - Industrialist Oliver Queen.

Taking the League's position as a "green light", Banna Harbera execs moved forward with the cartoon. One year later, the "Super Friends" were born. When the cartoon premiered, many watchers (including more than a few Leaguers) were confused. BH had done extensive focus groups and demographic testing and had concluded that the original line-up of the League needed a few "adjustments" to make it more "kid friendly". The Martian Manhunter never once made an appearance in the cartoon - his image, according to BH testing, was too frightening for young children. The normally frightening Batman did show up on the cartoon, but in order to make him less scary and more appealing to the younger audience, they added in his sidekick Robin - complete with "Holy ____, Batman" quips and cheery smiles.

But the biggest adjustment to the line up came in the form of two brand new Superheroes - Zan and Jayna, The Wonder Twins. Complete with purple jumpsuits, pointy ears and their strange "Wondertwin Powers", the alien duo was trotted out as the perfect characters for the early- to mid-teen market. Their young, hip vibe and "with it" dialogue was crafted to help make the show a success.

The show, however, bombed. After 3 months, television stations were already threatening to pull the show from their Saturday morning line-ups. Panicked, HB stumbled into what many considered the largest marketing fiasco in history until New Coke was attempted several years later. In an effort to salvage their floundering show, they hired two young fledgling twin actors - Sandra and Thomas Kowalski - to play the fabled twins at public appearances. The kids, both eager to make it in "real" show business (and get away from the circus where they grew up) agreed to undergo plastic surgery and have their names legally changed in order to portray the fabled superhero duo at live appearances all around the country.

Initially, the plan worked. Ratings for the cartoon did start to rise slightly, and the new Zan and Jayna were touted around the world as legitimate Superheroes. Several BH execs actually approached the Justice League about the possibility of making "Zan and Jayna" honorary League members, just to solidify the plan. They were laughed out of the Hall of Justice... Justice League Headquarters.

Then, one day at a mall opening in Dayton, Ohio, it all went tragically wrong. Amazo, the android supervillain that can mimic or replicate any superpower he comes in contact with, was an avid watcher of the cartoon - though Professor Ivo, Amazo's creator, had obviously forgotten to program that "Fact vs. Fiction" code into the android's programming. Amazo showed up at the Dayton appearance with the intention of engaging the two newest Justice Leaguers in hopes of adding their powers to his own. Unfortunately, the two youngsters didn’t' exactly "spring into action" - they more "froze in place in abject fear... into action". Superman arrived and took Amazo aside to explain the situation before anyone was seriously hurt, but the public image damage had been done. The BH marketing people in charge of the event were hopeful that they could find a way to spin the catastrophe in their favor. That is, until Amazo started jumping up and down and pointing over Superman's shoulder at Zan (who had unfortunately lost all bladder control on the stage in front of everyone) and loudly claimed "See! He does have powers!! He's turning into water right now!!!"

The writing was on the wall - Zan and Jayna lasted only a month longer on the cartoon. Not even the addition of a blue-dyed chimp named Gleek could save them. Eventually, the world forgot about the quirky little duo. Zan and Jayna were released from their contracts and sent out into the world.

[Cut to: an older looking gentleman sitting in front of the camera. The caption under his face reads "Zan", though such caption is unnecessary - save for a slightly older and rounder face, the pointed ears, angled eyebrows and slicked-back jet-black hair are unmistakable.]

Zan: I tried for a few years to get work in Hollywood, but I guess there's not much use for a former pretend-superhero in movies or TV. [Laughs] After Paramount turned me down for the role of "Vulcan #2" for the fifth Star Trek movie, I decided the acting life wasn't for me. Turned out to be the best decision of my life. I'm doing well now - I own my own line of high-quality swimming pools: Zan's Wonderpools. Second largest private pool distributor in the country. It was a little tough at first - but then I started using the image to sell the pools and the company shot up like a rocket. I guess people just equate this face with water. [Laughs]. So I guess in the long run, it all worked out for the best. I don't regret anything.

Announcer: Jayna, however, is a little less proud of her experience with fame...

[Cut to: Unlike her brother, Jayna looks almost nothing like she used to. Long, curly blond hair covers the pointed ears and it appears as though her angled eyebrows have been plucked then new ones drawn on in a smooth arc. The olive skin has given away to a deeper tan - that looks more bottle-made than natural. She is wearing a yellow, three-button cotton shirt with a logo for the "San Diego Zoo" stitched on it. A cigarette bounces nervously between her shaky fingers.]

Jayna: We were thrown out on our asses, is what happened! One little incident and we're tossed out like yesterday's garbage. What did they expect?! We were a couple of kids, fer crissakes. And that f*beep*ing android is like 7 feet tall! [pauses, calming] F*beep*k those Harbera f*beep*ks. They ruined my life, is what they did. After that whole thing, I couldn't get an acting job to save my life. Well, except for a few... *ahem*... movies... but my lawyer assures me those will never see the light of day...

[Someone off-screen hands her a video cassette box. She glances down at it, her eyes widening in horror.]

Jayna: Sonuva… *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

Announcer: These two young people were not the only lives touched by this cartoon. There were several others who had similar brushes with superhero fame thanks to the guys at Banna Harbera - and some whose experiences were far more tragic. Join us next week for:

CT1's Behind the Capes: The Marvin and Wendy story.
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