If 7-11 is really a problem for Harvey, maybe he
should try a Wawa (do they have Wawas in Gotham?). Much
more of a twofer.
Sincerely, Allaine
Sincerely, Allaine
0 Kudo
CT 30: Splitzville
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 Allaine |
Re: Chapter 5 | #81 | ||
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Posts: 1780 07/04/03 18:29 |
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ThornSilver |
Re: Chapter 5 | #82 | ||
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Posts: 116 07/04/03 18:41 |
That was... hilarious. Cat-woman is great. Batman's
reminescences are... great.
I think Two-Face is starting to grow on me. What do you do when you start sympatising with a psycho encumbered with a split personality? I am also sorry for Harley. The loneliness... so sad... *sobs*     "Ponder shook his sleeves to leave his hands free. For a wizard, this was equivalent to checking the functioning of a pump-action shotgun"--_The Last Contintent_ by Terry Pratchett |
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JasonBloodOfGotham |
Re: Chapter 5 | #83 | ||
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Posts: 1611 07/04/03 20:05
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Another great and positively hilarious chapter from
the production furnace that is Chris.
 I especially
love Two-Face's thoughts and reactions...Of course, the best moment is "The sickly certainty that Ra’s was here recruiting was mixed with a gnawing uncertainty: Was Ra’s al Guhl a hairdo?" (And the chorus responds, AYE!!!) *claps* Lovely chapter, Miss Kitty. Thanks for bringing a smile to our face. Bad Craziness: The Etrigan
Site But, I've been fighting against him-- against myself-- for over a thousand years. God, how much longer do I have to fight? For the longer it goes on-- no matter who wins-- the less I have to fight with... and for. (Jason Blood, Demon #1) |
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TwoFace275 |
Re: Chapter 5 | #84 | ||
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Posts: 2455 07/04/03 20:16 |
ThornSilver - the reason for you feel sorry for a
duality obsessed psycho is because of all the horrible
things we CatTales sisterhood enjoy putting him through.
I wasnt sure some of the things I do to him could be
topped, but that thing with Harl was just
sick...
Did anyone like his new T-Shirt? Recognise the quote from newhere? Az - she is not our henchwench. We just... feel... sorry for her, that's all. Any feelings of enamourment you see on the page are completely the fault of an over exaggerated writer. SO THERE! *Twoface flounces off* "Harvey is Fate's
bitch, it's that simple." - Chris Dee
that seems to be your tagline. "harvey 'two face' dent...d.a.: this won't end well." - Query "Ooh, sounds good Query. If he ever runs for another office, we can handle his campaigning. Big huge signs saying "This Won't End Well"... bumper stickers... I see it All..." - Lady Dien |
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Jarissa Paxton |
Re: Chapter 5 | #85 | ||
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Posts: 548 07/05/03 03:07 |
Catwoman's Talia-Wolfsbane: perfect! I'm still
cackling.
Hey, Mr. Dent, when're you going to start selling those t-shirts? Will you get Harley to model a babydoll tee version of it? Jarissa
knight of the Cat-Tails Discussion Roundtable |
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Nam El Baronoh.gothampm |
Two Face Protocol | #86 | ||
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Posts: 353 07/05/03 03:56 Wonders |
Ok Harvey, I got ask something...
Remember when Joker gave you the fixed coin that always came up scarred? Why doesn't Bruce come up with the same idea? |
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stephensmat2 |
Re: Chapter 5 | #87 | ||
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Posts: 1182 07/05/03 04:15 |
Okay, lets take it down.
I knew that Giggles would be put in charge in Chinatown. I figured that at the end of the last chapter, when Ra's was considering giving him a change of venue, so to speak. Quote: “Ra’s al Guhl, Light of the East, Terror of the West…” Yes, he would exile Ulstarn at once. “…welcomes to his Imperial Presence…” If only there was someone fit to replace him. “Greg Brady of Gotham City, North America.” Endquote Tell me that's not a segue! Ra's is gone? Does that mean that he wasnt staying in Gotham to oversee the testing, just to give the assignments? Because, If that's the case, then he wouldnt have to stay long, since only one nominee showed up in the first place, and the testing wouldnt be needed. Which means, that the only thing left for this story, now that Talia is...ahem...taken care of, is the defeat of Greg Brady. (heh.) And the matter of Harley and Joker being Splitz. Which of course, still leaves the question of the batgirl thing with Brady open. (Again! That's assuming there IS still a thing!) I enjoyed this small view into the planning of a 2 Face crime. But why is Harley attatching herself to Harv and not any of the others? Pam would throw a party at the news of the joker split, Catty admittedly has become somewhat unreachable.... Hmmm. If the whole 'Need a lawyer' thing is a concious descision as a ruse, then that would answer it. Maybe Harley's just too used to being a henchwench, and needs a tough guy Rogue to cling to. Wait. heh. HA! Sorry, i was just thinking about what would happen if word got around to Pam that Harley had left joker and started clinging to Harvey! Pam's not having a good few weeks. Harley did appear useful, per se, in the planning stages of Harv's next crime, but will she be a particapant. Probably not, So Harv's got to get them together again. Heh. HA! Sorry, I was just thinking of Pam's face when she hears this: Jervis: Well, it's like this. Harley and Joker split up! Pam: Finally! Jervis: And she went and got herself stuck on Harvey. Pam: What? Jervis: So Harvey went and got Joker and Harley back together again. Pam: WHAT!?!?! Harvey my friend, you're screwed! What is Joker doing all this time anyway? I mean, we've had word of Joker trying to plan things before with Harley out of the picture. As evidence, i tender Exhibit A: A quote from the Cat tails story Knightlife, where Joker thought that Batman had stolen Bruucie's girl yet again. Quote: “No No No,” Joker went on, “We'll have to fix this somehow. Get Selina to go back to Brucie - what are friends for if not to smooth over these little squabbles such as sometimes occur between…. HAR-LEY! These mongrel mutts are getting hyena spit on my desk. I can’t THINK this way! HAR-LEEY! – oh damn. Left her at Arkham. Bother.” Joker kicked the nearest hyena and tried to regain his train of thought. It was so DIFFICULT to try and plan without the dumb blonde interrupting all the time asking stupid questions. And just a paragraph later, the same: “HAR-LEY!!!! HAR-LEY!!!” Damnit, he just couldn’t think with all this peace and quiet and no dumb airhead interruptions. He had to get her back. EndQuote. So, how's Joker handling the new Split? He auditioning for a new henchwench? He wont find one. Really, Really wont. So Harley goes crawling back, dodges the first bullet, confesses that she's been faking laughter everytime she heard that Octopus Joke, Joker stops listening at the words 'faking it' and strike up the violins. How close am I? How much does Selina know about the history between Bats and Ra's outside Talia? Bats sees the photos and figures it out immediately. Does Selina? Just when was the last time the Demon’s Head had a new idea? I have a really crushing remark to that question, but I will not say it, because Valor is not the only thing that discretion is the better part of. I could say it, but I wont for reasons of self preservation. Once again, the Demonspawn is the serious bone of contention between them. For crying out loud! Romantically inept, headstrong individuals you both may be, I suggest you do what I do whenever I have a problem. I take a deep breath, and I say to myself: GET OVER IT! It works for me, and it'll work for you. Although, Selina's answer was better than a firm 'get over it.' #Wild laugh# Harvey seems to be taking a bit of informal therapy from Harley, while playing Henry Higgins, correcting her grammar and all that. #Brief image of Harvey singing 'Why cant the Joker teach His henchwench how to speak?'# What I wonder, will be the end result of this? he seems to be taking to her better than he does to the doctors at Arkham. Selina was right Bruce, i forgot about it like you did. Last time you asked for her help with security, it was the Demonspawn at work again. Master Strategist indeed. In fact, you've been having a pretty bad week when it comes to strategies. First the wonder-shmucks ignore you, then your girlfriend comes up with something so blindingly simple... And okay, fine, lets move onto it: The Demonspawn Wolfsbane! Selina's solution is so blindingly simple, so devilishly clever, that the people in the room carefully asked me if I was all right when I burst out laughing, and didnt stop for a full six minutes. Hubris. Once again, it comes down to hubris. Because, not thinking that photos like that will get out WHEN YOU DO IT THREE TIMES AND FED EX THEM TO ANOTHER CITY EACH TIME is definately hubris, and its never a bad thing to rely on your pride. The greeks taught us that. The Al Ghuls gotta learn what every ninth grade english student has to write a paper on. Bruce, speaking strictly as a knowing byastander, this woman you've been dating has done so many impossible things! She's given you an in with the rogue community, she's given you a personality, you've actually smiled without breaking your face, you and Dick are family again, AND NOW...Holiest of Holies, she's gotten the Demonspawn to be POLITE AND RESERVED AND HELPFUL TO YOU! Bruce, if I didnt know so much about what your personality was like, and what her personality is like, I would tell you to get down on your knees and MARRY this girl at once! I can only imagine what comes next. Actually, no I cant! I cant even imagine what may be coming next! So as I call on the entire board to give Chris a round of applause, I also humbly beg that the dark and twisted rabbit hole (known as your writing genius) PLEASE not keep us in suspense much longer. |
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Chris Dee.gothampm |
Re: Chapter 5 | #88 | ||
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Posts: 3928 07/05/03 13:52 Gothamite |
*Ra's pushes all others out of the way in his
eagerness to address stephensmat2 personally*
Quote:Don't you hate when he does that. Hi Everybody, glad you liked the chapter. It seems to be sparking some interesting discussion, once we're all done sniggering at demonspawn's predicament. I don't know if there are Wawas in Gotham, Allaine, but I suspect Harvey is a lot less picky about the 7-11 when a) he thinks they have what he needs and b) he isn't already annoyed. At that point I don't think it mattered what Harley said, it was going to be wrong. That is all I will say on the Harley question for now, because after TwoFace flounced off so magnificently uptopic (well done, Rob!) what could I possibly add. Nam - the problem with switching the coin is that Harvey is no dolt and he's going to notice sooner or later. When he does, he'll feel the need to balance the scales. If Fate didn't decide those last 20 flips, then he has to go do 20 bad things to bring balance back to the force, and god help the Second National Bank, the Off-Track Bettering both called Daily Doubles, and Pam's new flytrap Ivan-II. Stephen: Harley couldn't go to Pam, remember she's still in Arkham. Of those rogues who are free at the moment, Harl choose Two-Face for reasons that we non-tassel-wearers can never fully comprehend. "i was just thinking about what would happen if word got around to Pam that Harley had left joker and started clinging to Harvey!" Well she knows the first, her pointed lack of sympathy up at Arkham about the split up was part of what induced Harley to fake sanity and leave (this is all at the end of chapter 1). As for what happens when Pam finds out Harl is hanging with 'Twofers' - yeah, I've been wondering about that too. "Harvey my friend, you're screwed!" Does look that way, doesn't it. But you never know, he may surprise us. "What is Joker doing all this time anyway?" Again see chapter 1. Joker is still in Arkham. But he has regained his sight (per Bruce's statusreports right before he learned Ra's was in town). So I think it's safe to say it is a matter of time now until he breaks out and then, hmm, I guess we'll see. More in a bit. |
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TwoFace275 |
Re: Chapter 5 | #89 | ||
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Posts: 2455 07/05/03 14:27 |
Screwed? Well, yes of course we are. We spend the
vast majority - well, about half - of our life being
metaphorically screwed. To be honest though, the pain
will be worth it to see the look on Pam's
face...
Nam - Joker gave us that coin as some kind of practical joke *sigh* Bruce, for all his plusses, is no prankster. Why therefore would Bruce give us a double scarred coin? I can see Batman doing it to throw us off, but I still don't see why Bruce would. Oh well. *shrug* And finally... Why has Harl thrown herself at our door? We don't know. We do know however that we are 1) Fate's bitch and far more importantly, 2) in dire need of aspirin as that girl is giving us a splitting head ache. Double entendre VERY much intended. Twodleoo. "Harvey is Fate's
bitch, it's that simple." - Chris Dee
that seems to be your tagline. "harvey 'two face' dent...d.a.: this won't end well." - Query "Ooh, sounds good Query. If he ever runs for another office, we can handle his campaigning. Big huge signs saying "This Won't End Well"... bumper stickers... I see it All..." - Lady Dien |
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Chris Dee.gothampm |
Re: Chapter 5 | #90 | ||
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Posts: 3928 07/05/03 14:34 Gothamite |
>>Just when was the
last time the Demon’s Head had a new
idea?
Remember that that was Bruce's thought, not mine. Personally I think the Joker head with an apple in the mouth presentation platter ranks right up there. But there is actually a more serious answer lurking in there, perhaps you found it. Future chapters may tell. >>Once again, the Demonspawn is the serious bone of contention between them. For crying out loud! Glad you brought that up, because I was just discussing this with a favorite cat-tales collaborator the other night. She IS still an uncomfortable subject, probably always will be, but I'm fond of looking at similar situations over time and seeing how the characters responses change. Bruce & Selina are a lot closer now than the first time Talia showed up, and their methods of coping, individually and together, are appropriately different. The first time there were rehearsed speeches and a good deal of yelling. This time it was quiet - there was a lot unsaid because it didn't need to be said, both knew how the other felt. And much of what was said was soft-spoken. Not quite "get over it" but certainly dealing with it like adults. Which segues me to something that has nothing to do with Cat Tales, other than it's something many comics do that get under my skin and I try to avoid or deliberately flout whenever possible: I'm going to call it StompingReds: You have a supposedly sane adult person, often a 'good guy' or someone of sufficient character and quality to be romantically appealing to he hero, but once they enter into a romantic pair, they become possessed of a manic irrationality bordering on psychosis that overrides all common sense. Textbook example: Precrisis there was an issue that introduced Nocturna. Natasha attended at a party at Wayne Manor. Vicky Vale, Bruce's love interest at the time, comes in, sees Bruce TALKING TO HER, grabs her coat, chews out Alfred and storms out. Now - he was the host of the party. He was her employer at the time. And he was TALKING to her in a room full of other party guests. This is an equal opportunity question to the men and women alike: Your S.O. storms off because you SPOKE to someone of the opposite sex at a party. Tell me you wouldn't say to yourself: this is a mentally ill person I have gotten myself involved with and I should use this opportunity to free myself from the situation at once before Glenn Close shows up wielding a carving knife! Okay, off my soapbox. Back to the Tales. >>Selina's solution is so blindingly simple, so devilishly clever, that the people in the room carefully asked me if I was all right when I burst out laughing, and didnt stop for a full six minutes. Selina says: Meow. I say: Yep, you nailed it. It's one of those things like pantyhose or tupperware that - once somebody invents it, everybody stands around wondering why we didn't think of this LONG ago. And THAT, Like the question of when Ra's last had new idea, has a more serious underside. *looks around* Hey you know what, you said something at the end of your post, Stephensmat, that seems to have scared all the characters away which just leaves me to say: thank you for the very kind words. As long as y'all keep reading, I'll keep writing. “Do you, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle promise to forsake all others and reserve your warped, angst-ridden, dysfunctional nincompoopery for each other, thereby saving at least two innocent people and providing untold hours of fascinated diversion to the rest of us who might otherwise think WE have screwed up relationships!” --Dick Grayson in a moment of clarity |
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stephensmat2 |
Re: Chapter 5 | #91 | ||
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Posts: 1182 07/05/03 14:45 |
Quote
*looks around* Hey you know what, you said something at the end of your post, Stephensmat, that seems to have scared all the characters away... EndQuote. And I bet I know exactly what you're talking about. Can anybody else find the Wolfsbane for the twelve or so people in Chris's head? If I'm right about which point, then you'll be able to find a LARGE hint in one of my former posts, long ago. |
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Nam El Baronoh.gothampm |
Harvey | #92 | ||
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Posts: 353 07/05/03 16:06 Wonders |
I meant giving you a two a coin weighted towards to
positive... say a 65% 35%. I.e. an edge that does not get
two obvious.
I do have one other question... How can I put this.... You are a bad ass. You are strong enough, smart enough, and vicious enough... Why are you so touchy around Ms. Green? Ok, if you want sex, fine. But as bad as she is, couldn't you take her in a fight? She talks to plants and is immune to poison. You had your very soul split down the center. You went insane and came out the other side. At what point do you say 'I am no longer Fate's Bitch! You want me, BRING IT ON!!!' |
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TwoFace275 |
Re: Harvey | #93 | ||
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Posts: 2455 07/05/03 20:46 |
*arches an eye brow*
Do you remember when we beat you over the head with that two by four Nam? Would you like to be reminded? "Harvey is Fate's
bitch, it's that simple." - Chris Dee
that seems to be your tagline. "harvey 'two face' dent...d.a.: this won't end well." - Query "Ooh, sounds good Query. If he ever runs for another office, we can handle his campaigning. Big huge signs saying "This Won't End Well"... bumper stickers... I see it All..." - Lady Dien |
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Nam El Baronoh.gothampm |
And this disproves my point, how? | #94 | ||
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Posts: 353 07/05/03 23:17 Wonders |
This is the Great District Attorney's
response?
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Catwoman Meow |
Re: And this disproves my point, how? | #95 | ||
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Posts: 6453 07/05/03 23:45 Feline Fatale |
No, that is obviously Two-Face's response.
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hazel61 |
Re: And this disproves my point, how? | #96 | ||
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Posts: 439 07/06/03 02:13 Drama Queen |
*Talia storms into thread* I knew it! I just KNEW I
ought to be concerned about the final destination of
those photos. But nooooo, the old geezer asks for
pictures, I send pictures. Which he's too senile to
bother to keep track of. *throws hand against forehead*
Oh, another wall between my beloved and I, another
mountain set on the path betwixt his heart and mine. How
shall I survive?
*notices everyone else's reaction for the first time* IT'S NOT FUNNY! *Hazel gives her character a condescending look* Sure it's not, honey. If you say so. *resumes snickering* "I see this for
what it is: A foolish cat-fan's attempt to make me look
ridiculous. Well it won't work I tell you, because
there's nothing for you to make fun of and I AM very
talented. I am highly trained in combat and am considered
a very dangerous woman, in many senses of the word! And I
am running what I understand is a very prosperous
corporation, and doing well at that. AND I have many
other talents as well, like dancing and, yes, tennis, and
I enjoy throwing pots and..." -Talia running
amok on the Cat-Tales board
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Catwoman Meow |
Re: And this disproves my point, how? | #97 | ||
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Posts: 6453 07/06/03 16:13 Feline Fatale |
Hey look at that, Omar was right. She does
froth.
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Nam El Baronoh.gothampm |
Two Faces Response | #98 | ||
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Posts: 353 07/06/03 18:41 Wonders |
Please explain, using powerpoint if needed, why Two
Face would be irritated by someone thinking he is a
badass...?
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Jarissa Paxton |
Re: Two Faces Response | #99 | ||
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Posts: 548 07/07/03 11:00 |
Briefly:
Two-Face likes pain -- his own, someone else's, Harvey's, whatever. I doubt he was ever in love with Poison Ivy, but he sure was in lust with her, and none of the attributes that inflamed that lust have really changed. He may be inclined to hurt her, but it's got to be distracting when she hurts him back. Harvey Dent is a gentleman at heart, and therefore will always be at a disadvantage when in combat against a woman for whom he once had sorta-tender feelings. (Kind of like "Batman versus Talia" three years or so ago, I'm thinking.) He can defend himself from Pam when she lashes out at him, of course, but a more devastating counterattack just isn't his style. So, "good side" says he can't bring himself to hurt Red more than his own survival requires, and "bad side" says this is all foreplay. I'm with Nam, though: if Harvey and Two-Face would just agree on the importance of ending this conflict in their favor, and bring all their resources to bear on it, Poison Ivy would be in serious trouble. Maybe Harley will come up with the right motive for some teamwork here. On an earlier topic, it occurs to me that the Talia-wolfsbane might not have actually worked back when the Batman first got pictures. Back then, she wasn't trying to establish herself in the corporate world, using a high-visibility position, in such a way that Ra's couldn't protect her from any fallout. Would the newsies have cared about "Talia, Bint al Ghul's" alleged kinkiness half so much as they now would delight in the same allegations toward "Talia Head"? Jarissa
knight of the Cat-Tails Discussion Roundtable |
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stephensmat2 |
Response to Jarrisa. | #100 | ||
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Posts: 1182 07/07/03 12:42 |
Quote:
"it occurs to me that the Talia-wolfsbane might not have actually worked back when the Batman first got pictures. Back then, she wasn't trying to establish herself in the corporate world, using a high-visibility position, in such a way that Ra's couldn't protect her from any fallout. " Endquote. Jarrisa makes a good point here, and I suppose it's a matter of perspective, but personally, I disagree. Talia may have been a lot of things back then, but first and foremost, she's an al Ghul. As such, she's raised in an environment where nobody would even so much as speak a word of protest against her, for fear of a cut throat. But the flip side of that, (No offense harvey,) is that she's part of a family that has a great many enemies, not the least of which was Batman. The only difference, as you said Jarissa, is the arena. If Bruce had had the brainwave that Selina had, and had used the photos back then, then they wouldnt be blackmail, they'd be insurance. Bruce would stick them in a drawer in the Batcave and say: "Ra's, you try and play games with me again, and I'll make sure that everybody on the planet knows your daughters name for this." As Chris once put it, 'What's true of the father is doubly true of the daughter.' Ra's hubris wouldnt allow him to take the risk, or at the very least, Talia herself would be finished with Ra's. No Lexcorp, no 'Beloved' No Demonspawn, etc etc. And even if it wasnt the case, Talia would at the very least not be 'betrothed' to the detective anymore. Ra's wouldnt risk having someone that duplicitious in the family. The basic plan is more or less identical, the result comes to basically the same thing, just the headlines would have been different. |
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