The tale begins...
At FanFiction.net and the Official Cat-Tales Website

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Chris Dee.gothampm |
CT 35: Go Rin No Sho |
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The Book of Five Rings: Samurai Manual of Combat
Strategy. The problem? How can Bruce Wayne be a playboy
with a live-in girlfriend?
The tale begins... At FanFiction.net and the Official Cat-Tales Website |
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BenRG |
Re: Go Rin No Sho - Chapters 1 & 2 | #1 | ||
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Awww! Poor Brucie is getting all angsty about no
longer being seen as a playboy!
You know, you always know that Batman is going to start trouble in his relationships when he goes all strategic (witness that faux pas earlier in the epic when he tried to strategise help in a case from Selina). Let's face the fact that Selina might have a point. She doesn't want to 'disappear' for a month, and going over to Bat-alone mode is never a good idea for Bruce's emotional health. Bruce should think her suggestion over, IMHO. Dick isn't the best back-up yet, but he is good. With JP, Cassie, Steph and Tim around too, Gotham should be more than adequately protected while Bruce and Selina re-establish the 'playboy' image by spending the equivalent of the GNP of a major Western European democracy in somewhere with lots of sun, sand, surf, shops and casinos. And no, Bruce, you never map things out before you try to tackle Selina in 'Bat'-mode. She gets under your skin far too easily and it disrupts your ability to focus (read 'obsess', right, Ms. Kyle? This looks like it is going to be another one of Bruce's journeys of self-discovery by The Way of the Kitten. I assume that it is going to be a six- or seven-parter with one major chapter associated with each of the five rings, plus a prologue and, maybe, an epilogue. I can't wait to see how it develops, mainly because these semi-drama books always exposes something new and interesting about the Batman and the very real and vulnerable human that created him. ~*~*~*~ They call me BenRG But... I don't know why... ~*~*~*~ |
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Star Ranger4 |
Re: Go Rin No Sho - Chapters 1 & 2 | #2 | ||
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Good points, Ben. Too bad Bruce has such a fixation
on "I'M this city's protector and can't no one
else do it as good as I can." that he'd never
actually consider that.
And no, trying to map out the journey beforehand is kinda pointless when dealing with Selina. At least not a complete map. You've gotta be flexible here brucie. Know where you wanna go, and how you wanna get there, but don't completely plan out all the steps in between cause dealing with Selina means being able to change on the fly. Other than that, I happen to agree that Selina is going to win and have Bruce implement Operation Fop by actually going off and taking a month off. "I was an Otaku before those kids
came along and changed the meaning of the
word."
-- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate. |
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katfairy |
Re: Go Rin No Sho - Chapters 1 & 2 | #3 | ||
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Bruce is about to get the ass-kicking of his life.
A metaphorical ass-kicking, maybe, but Selina is going to
kick his ass. Possibly all the way to Tahiti.
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Laura! A penguin grabbed Karl Rove's loins! |
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The Thundering Monkey |
Restoring the Playboy image | #4 | ||
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What Bruce needs to restore the image is a good
Playboy publicity stunt like:
1. Billionaire Bruce Wayne puts business on hold as he attempts to be the first to circle the world in a Hot Air Balloon. 2. "Bruce Wayne spends 10 million to spend week on JLA watchtower" 3. "Bruce Wayne to buy Elephant Mans bones at Jackson Auction". The sort of thing that makes news for a week or so, but then is forgotten. There's no need to embarrass or distress Selina with imaginary Bimbai. |
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Chris Dee.gothampm |
Re: Restoring the Playboy image | #5 | ||
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Selina likes how you think, Monkey. She got all
excited at #3 and is now lobbying Bruce to go to the
auction and buy back the rights to all those Beatles
songs so the world is never subjected to snippets from
the White Album used to SELL HONDAS!
(For those who have no idea what I'm talking about: Paul McCartney advised Jackson that music rights are an excellent investment, and Jackson turned around and bought the rights to the Beatles old stuff out from under PM. As Joker so aptly put it: Don't talk to me about Justice. Dead chickens in the street. DEAD. CHICKENS!) |
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Sealgair |
Re: Restoring the Playboy image | #6 | ||
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I read the words “This
would be much easier than expected.” I
cringe and cover my head… because there’s
bound to be an explosion. Oh. So not good. I realise I
should have caught on earlier about the title of the
story - a Japanese manual on COMBAT strategy. Hoo
boy.
Love the touching base with comics continuity and the whole ‘Tarantula’ thing. And I do believe I produced a rather bat-like snort of amusement at the secondary OraCom conversation. Huh. Didn’t know I could do that. * * * and we get to an even bigger uh-oh at the end. The Bat wants to analyse emotions again. You cannot plan strategy around emotions. Or rather you can, but you have to plan around those emotions and the possibility that they’ll be there. Or not. And a relationship, which is rightfully based upon emotion, can’t really be planned either. You try it and it falls apart. Especially Bat-planning, which is all “I plan and I shall not ask any one else’s opinion/thoughts/feelings…” And I’m left with an “oy-vey” and the eager anticipation of not only seeing the end and how they make up, but also am eager to see the process, the getting there. Which is a Zen philosophy that the Bat needs to study more, I think. ![]() |
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: Restoring the Playboy image | #7 | ||
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I can't believe Bruce didn't see that arguement
coming. For a guy who likes to learn from his past
mistakes (the ones he'll admit to anyway), he appears to
be unwilling to learn that making decisions for Selina
usually backfires.
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Allaine |
Re: Restoring the Playboy image | #8 | ||
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Maybe he should try Napoleon's Battle Plan
instead:
Show up . . . . . . and see what happens. Sincerely, Allaine |
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ichigenka.gothampm |
? | #9 | ||
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ok that has got to be one of the dumbest plans B
has ever put together, i've got no sympathy for him when
Selina flays him alive.
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Midwest Sailor.gothampm |
Re: ? | #10 | ||
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The answer you're looking for to that last
question, Bruce, is a resounding "No."
This should be interesting (especialy as I've just
started a relationship with no road map what so
ever).
On a more positive note, did I just hear Selina refer to Wayne Manor/The Batcave as her own home? |
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: Restoring the playboy image | #11 | ||
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I can't wait for Alfred's take on this!
I think the key words are, "I've lost control." You'd better believe it, Bruce! You're in a relationship now. She's not a Robin, no plans A & B. Pick one. Dust off those negotiating skills, fella. You are so doomed! |
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: Go Rin No Sho | #12 | ||
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Loved your take on Musashi's philosophy!
It actually conjured up this weird image in my head: In an attempt to calm his mind down, Bruce decides to do some katana training in the courtyard of Wayne Manor. He starts with a traditional Iaijustu (sword drawing) pattern. For some reason, he can't get Selina's voice out his head, so he switches to a calmer TaiChi saber pattern. Selina's voice in his head just gets louder. And louder. He can't ignore it. By now Bruce can't "become one with sword", and find himself doing a contemporary Wushu straight-sword routine. When he finally calms down, he looks around to survey the damage. "Alfred, call the gardeners. They're going to be working overtime." Sorry couldn't resist. But seriously, does Selina pose a serious threat to his application of the samurai ethos? Quick question: If Batman studied all of the 127 fighting styles around the world, surely he would also be familiar with their combat philosophies? I can understand why he, as a businessman, may feel compelled to the samurai philosophy, but given his depth of knowledge, isn't he being a bit subjective? |
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Chris Dee.gothampm |
Re: Go Rin No Sho | #13 | ||
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Good Morning, All!
I see tongues are wagging about Bruce Wayne's sad lack of common sense, which you'd THINK he'd be happy about since that's what he wanted, but instead he's grumbling about all of you not grasping his "strategy" ... MEN! What can you do. Can't live with them, can't sell'em for the parts. >>I read the words “This would be much easier than expected.” I cringe and cover my head… Ah yes, there is the distinct air of a man so confident in his intelligence and abilities he is about to stroll into the Press Room and return with a secret plan to fight inflation >>touching base with comics continuity and the whole ‘Tarantula’ thing Yes indeed. Interesting point/counterpoint there actually. Consider Dick & Babs wonderfully good-humored attitude to how he is perceived compared to, oh say, Bruce & Selina. Not quite the same thing, I know, but it's still fun to watch. >>On a more positive note, did I just hear Selina refer to Wayne Manor/The Batcave as her own home? I wondered if anyone would pick up on that. Congratulations Sailor! Bruce didn't, you'll notice. See what you can miss when you get all caught up in your bat-flowchart... >>I can't wait for Alfred's take on this! Indeed. We all know he has the patience of Job and all, but having witnessed all 4,068 rounds of the Bat-Cat/Bruce-Selina whatever-it-is, you have to figure that at some point he is going to snap, throw servant's propriety to the wind, pick up a loaf of french bread and smack B in the head with it. >>But seriously, does Selina pose a serious threat to his application of the samurai ethos? That is exactly the question B is going to be grappling with for the next 4 books. >>Quick question: If Batman studied all of the 127 fighting styles around the world, surely he would also be familiar with their combat philosophies?... He would indeed, and while it is not a quick question, I'm VERY glad you asked it. But it is going to take awhile to get into, and I have to go to work. So stay tuned... “I felt drops of icy sweat dripping up my back. I am aware that icy and sweat are contradictory by their very nature and should not be able to coexist in the same freakish bead of ICK WHAT IS THAT falling up my back. I am also aware things are not supposed to fall up. For that matter criminals aren’t supposed to get it on with crime-fighters. Yet here we were: Catwoman, Batman, Icy, Sweat, Dripping, Up. Sometimes life is like that." |
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Selisa Waydon |
Re: Go Rin No Sho | #14 | ||
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Wow, there are times when Bruce doesn't seem to
know anything about women in general and Selina in
particular. He's going down.
"In the beginning, the universe was
created. This has made a lot of people very angry and
been widely regarded as a bad move.
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Catwoman Meow |
Re: Go Rin No Sho | #15 | ||
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>>Wow, there are times when Bruce
doesn't seem to know anything about women in
general...
While that is true, it should be said in his defense that most of us have had that thought about most of them at one time or another. |
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Orion of New Genesis |
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce... | #16 | ||
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Look, mate, a word to the wise: you are starting to
see a fundamental flaw (actually, several) in your
initial battle plan; don't dismiss it! Particularly not
when the classic failing in any strategy is to act on the
world as one thinks (or wants) it to be, rather than as it really
is.
First: the whole problem, as you see it, is that the world has changed (specifically, Bruce Wayne's image), but you seem determined to try to keep it as it was before the big change -- namely, the addition of one Selina Kyle to your "household." (I'm using the latter word in an older, almost medieval sense; I trust that neither you nor the lady in question will object.) You're trying to adapt to the change -- which is a relief, because I could all too easily see a Post story in which you decide to give her up for the sake of your mission; luckily, you've already realised, using that formidable intelligence of yours, that Selina is an asset in that respect rather than a liability, enabling you (in her own unique way) to do your job better -- but you're thinking inside a box, which is limiting your options and causing trouble already. It's surprising, because anyone who can make the plans that you do ought not to fall into this trap; maybe this problem hits too close to home? I don't know; go and think about it and tell me (or someone; for preference, Selina) later. Meantime, the fact is, you haven't thought enough about the real problem -- or what I perceive as the problem (tell me if I'm wrong), which is: How do I make Bruce Wayne the most unlikely person in the world to be thought of as Batman's alter ego? Your previous tactic was the Fop, and it worked until now, but it's breaking down, so you're trying to reinforce it by means of new toys and the fake globe-trotting. Why? Why limit yourself to the Fop? Ask yourself this: why does Bruce Wayne have to be a Fop? Okay, you've played one in the past, but things have changed! Bimbos are out, Selina/Catwoman is in (and let's not forget that you both worked hard to get to this point). If that's changed, why can't Public Bruce change too? Let it happen slowly, over months or even years, but I'm darn sure you can do it, and Selina's presence will help there, too. Remember that horrible joke: What does marriage doom a man to? Aisle. Altar. Hymn. Okay, you're not married, and Selina probably wants my blood for using that stereotype, but I hope to deflect both your wraths by making this point: it is a stereotype, which is also what the Fop is, so why not use it? I don't know what might replace the Fop; a Branson-style danger junkie might be a bit too close to your mission for comfort, but it sure would give a convenient explanation for any injuries. Anything other than that, I leave to your ingenuity; just don't tell me that the Fop is your only choice. Second: allow me to (mis-? He has his doubts, but dare not show it. He might be wrong, but never know it! Seems to me, you're having doubts already. Listen to them. More to the point, analyse them and work on them with the aid of your household. Gerrold's song is meant to be a reminder to prospective starship captains that they can't do it all without the help of their crew; you appear to be having the same problem, leading to bad strategy and even worse tactics. No Plan C? I'll give you a Plan C -- C for Cat! Ask Selina! If you cannot say, unequivocably, that Feline Logic can't help you in this, why not see what it can do? Ms Kyle is a woman who has presented herself to the world as she wishes it to see her; who says she can't help you do the same? Remember, once again, that your goal is not "Bruce is a fop" but "Bruce is not Batman." It might not work -- Selina, being both female and feline, does not necessarily give a damn what the world thinks -- but if it doesn't, what have you lost? An hour or two, if that, as you talk over the problem -- and you can't tell me that she won't appreciate being consulted. You still have the final say -- you are Bruce Wayne, after all -- but don't be a jackass who refuses to accept help from the people he loves. If Selina, Alfred, Dick, Barbara and anyone else they might think of (I can think of a few candidates, all of whom you have already put your faith in) can't help, then you really have the Great-Great-Great-Grandmother of Image Problems, and probably should think of becoming a second Howard Hughes. Phil, wondering where my copy of Sun Tsu has got to... ----
Ping! Ping! Ping! -- Mother Box She's such a chatterbox, sometimes... |
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Catwoman Meow |
Re: Bruce, Bruce, Bruce... | #17 | ||
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>>maybe this problem
hits too close to home? ... the fact is, you haven't
thought enough about the real
problem
Aha! In other words, is it just possible that the "real" problem is something else entirely from what Bruce is declaring it to be, and that he is in fact dressing it up in a batsuit rather than seeing it for what it is? Could be. Could very well be. >>No Plan C? I'll give you a Plan C -- C for Cat! Ask Selina! Now see that statement (like the bit about the ship's captain), while it does have a certain logic, it sort of dances around the reality that we're dealing with a world class control freak. If you need other people to make a contribution, you're that much less in control. A ship's crew, well, it's true they're independent souls with free will, but at least they're inclined to follow orders. But cats, not so much. >> you are Bruce Wayne, after all -- but don't be a jackass who refuses to accept help from the people he loves. There are those who would say Bruce Wayne is, practically by definition, "a jackass who refuses to accept help from the people he loves" and that you have therefore set forth a fundamental paradox that will tear the very fabric of the universe causing time-space to implode upon itself... and all for the want of a Lamborghini. However I say Man's (even a Batman's) capacity for change and choice is what makes him worthy of telling stories about. So anything is possible in coming chapters. |
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stephensmat2 |
Re: Bruce, Bruce, Bruce... | #18 | ||
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Oh man, I take a week off and i miss the
party!
I hate it when that happens! And to top it all off, absolutely EVERYTHING that i was gonna say has been said. I snoozed, I lost. (damn I hate being a grammar snob sometimes.) Still, I'm worth two cents i hope. Let's take it down. (What's left of it.) Quote: “There are times you are downright strange.” EndQuote. This whole scene reminds me of a show i saw once where in trying to explain an accident in layman's terms, a guys says: "So it's like when you dump all the chemicals in your brothers chemical set together, in the hopes that they'll explode." The next line and my exact thought at the time was: "Why would someone misuse a chemistry set so?" Selina, this guy just doesnt toss things into a closet, he doesnt keep his costume under the bed. The world is chaos enough, batman's world even more so, without adding to the disorganisation! Honestly Selina! bruce is right. he has to keep things where he can get them, wiythout having to search for long. In his business, batman could die tommorow. but the knowledge must live on! The wisdom must live on! True story: One of the most famous opera composers in history, (Though, embarrassingly, i dont remember his name at the moment) wrote an opera, but died before it was produced. They found the sheet music being wrapped around fish. Why? because the information was not kept properly. This is how moments of understanding are lost. Formulas that could do a thousand things get sent to the tip because nobody knows what they are seeing. And this is BATMAN'S Archive! These are the hints that keep Gotham safe. And as for that whole thing with having only one document in a file...well...been there. #Looks back at the rant# heh...uh...moving on then... Quote: This would be much easier than expected. EndQuote. Another one to add to the list of "Dumb-Ass-Things-The-Batman-Has-Said." And maybe the list of foreboding. back before you know it...what's the worst that could happen...god himself could not sink this ship and "This will be much easier than expected." Goodnight Bruce, game's over. Quote: “So you’re buying a Lamborghini, a yacht, and a new plane?” she had asked when he told her. EndQuote. Chris, you're making me jealous here... Quote: “An obvious failure! Kitten, Just because you don’t like it... The plan is sound. We’re doing it. Come or don’t come. Your choice, I’m not ordering you either way.” EndQuote. Ahhh. He's learnt. You cant order the cat, so he's taking the highroad. He's acting with passive agressive behaviour and guilt. He's gonna make a great dad one day. #Moves to duck the batarang i know is coming.# Chris, maybe this is classic tripod behaviour, but it's far more stable to be a tripod than a mere biped, is it not? Quote: Could he honestly say he had done this where Selina was concerned? Could he honestly say he had mapped out the journey before setting out? EndQuote. Well...Duh. Hell no. And might i add, that it's a damn good thing. Strategy doesnt recognise felinity. You never have. not since day one. She teased you and you fell for it, she flirted and got away with it, when the mask came off you dodged every fight by ignoring the purple elephants so to speak, in fact every facet of what you do where she is concerned, from the protocols fight... Quote: “Do you have any protocols, Kitten?” It was so light and off-hand, the voice and manner that charms every socialite on the Upper East Side… EndQuote ...to the batmobile... Quote: Bulletproof windshield, thermal imaging, ejector seat - nothing to deal with felinity.--Splitzville. EndQuote. ...has nothing that can make her move the way you want her to. (I leave out that bit in Women lacking Complexity, because that wasnt a concious plan. I dont think...If I am in error I apologise.) Bruce, if you HAD gone and strategised the whole relationship, we never would have gotten past the whole "Accept the Relationship for what it is" crap back in Normal. Now then, as to the comments from TM on what to do, well yeah, why the hell not? IMHO, however, all he has to do is have the fop put it about, that there was a small time after she moved in, in which they had a huge fight and that the million dollar toys will have to go around the world without him because she isnt done 'making up' with him yet. The fop persona is restored, the Rogues rumor mill says that the fight was about Batman, and of course the best part is, it's true. The huge fight after she moved in in Splitzville, and her line here about: Quote: “Ever get together with an ex and do it for old times sake?” EndQuote. Bruce my boy, if you dont screw it up in the next chapter, you can have all the pieces fall into place for you. But we all know that he's going to screw it up dont we? This is gonna be good. And yet it cant end well. |
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Unregistered(d) |
Re: Go Rin No Sho | #19 | ||
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I actually looked up this book on Google. It is so
thoroughly something Bruce would have absorbed that I got
quite a kick out of it! Even the way he describes how a
warrior should look at his opponents rang true.
I never would have thought of looking at this if you hadn't referenced it. Now I've got another reason to keep reding Cat-Tales. Way to go! |
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Kimberly T.gothampm |
Hi! Chat newbie w/strong lurker tendency just had to say... | #20 | ||
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Hi! I’ve been a fan of Cat-Tales for the past
year or so, and I’ve been ‘lurking’
here for a little while, content to let others who are
far more versed in the comics, in bat-psyche or in
feline/Catwoman psychology do the talking. But this time
I just had to say something more than my review at
Fanfiction.net (in which I said simply that, for once
again making decisions for both of them without
consulting Selina, Bruce is in SO much trouble):
Yep, good ol’ stubborn, inflexible, pigheaded Bruce. If only he had realized that there was a Plan C (C for Compromise) just waiting to be recognized, that Selina just might have agreed to: Step 1: Pick 5 or six places around the globe that a rich playboy-type would go to; preferably ones that Selina would also like to visit. Step 2: Announce the globetrotting to the media. Step 3: Stay in Gotham for a week or so, then go with Selina via private jet or JLA transporter to one of the chosen ‘hot spots’ (yeah, some JLA’ers might grumble about misappropriation of resources, but so what?), be seen by the media, and have a great weekend! Before leaving, ‘let slip’ to the media that the yacht/plane is headed to another hot spot, but secretly return to Gotham instead for patrols. Step 4: Repeat Step 3 as often as Selina desires. Yes, she’d still be terribly inconvenienced by having to stay out of sight for a few days at a time, but in recompense she’d get to see a few new places, and perhaps revisit some of her old haunts (Paris, Florence, etc.) Selina wouldn’t even have to stay out of sight while in Gotham, if she wore disguises; during the day, why not see what life would be like as a redhead or blonde? And at night, well, if even HARLEY can wear a disguise and fool the other Rogues (though not Sly) into thinking she’s someone else, so can Selina. In fact, that could become a golden opportunity to explore some other aspect of her psyche besides her felinity. (Yes, identifying wth cats is a large part of her psyche, but like she said herself, you can't completely sum a person up in one sentence like a TV Guide listing.) Since her mother was a ballerina, and probably danced in “Swan Lake” at least once in her career, it could be a tip of the cowl to her if Selina created a temporary persona called the Black Swan… Stepping back into the shadows now. Have a nice night! Kimberly |
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