Cat Tales 29: Highland Games

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Chris Dee.gothampm	Cat Tales 29: Highland Games		Lead	[-]
Posts: 3928 04/29/03 19:18 Gothamite	Tags : None The next adventure begins.... at FanFiction.net and on the Official Cat Tales Website FREDERICKS OF HOLLYWOOD Would you give it a rest! Everybody whose actually had sex can see what they’re doing. The affected virgin lemmings carp that breasts are sexist. So they reshape the T&A to downplay the T and punch up the A. The undersexed pundits don’t have a clue what’s happening, and right under their noses all the normal guys get an even better show. --Roxy Rocket in a moment of clarity
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katfairy	Re: Cat Tales 29: Highland Games	#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 769 04/29/03 20:32 Ballistic Soprano	Beautiful. Two of my favorite geekouts in one story- where's the bad? Cat Tales and Scottish anything, oh purr..... But, ummmmm... last I heard the Earl of Glencairn was a Cunningham. Granted, that may have changed, but I thought I'd point it out. They sing choruses in public- that's mad enough, I think.
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ThornSilver	Re: Cat Tales 29: Highland Games	#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 116 04/29/03 21:19	Checks lips for bleeding I am at work you see. I can't laugh out loud. Plus, if I start, I will not be able to stop, ok. This is absolutely, completely, utterly, hilarious. "Ponder shook his sleeves to leave his hands free. For a wizard, this was equivalent to checking the functioning of a pump-action shotgun"--_The Last Contintent_ by Terry Pratchett
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Orion of New Genesis	Re: And then there was MY day...	#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 122 04/29/03 22:25	...which, at times, resembled a comedy of errors itself. It started with having to make a (planned) trip to Darkest Warwickshire -- but in a van instead of a car, and an hour late, to boot... (don't ask!) ...and things went on from there in the manner in which they had begun. So it was a real pleasure to get home, collapse for a while, then fire up the computer to find a new Cat-Tale waiting to be read. It was a double pleasure to find that this one is, to quote ThornSilver: *Quote:* ...absolutely, completely, utterly, hilarious. Thanks for summing it up so well, TS. One tends to expect to laugh out loud at a funny Cat-Tale (as opposed to the intensely dramatic ones), but this one has an even higher strike rate than usual -- and it was oh, so welcome! I shan't quote any of the sections that cracked me up, because it would probably involve the majority of the text, and it's late. All I will say is, thanks, Chris, for another wonderful addition to the canon. Oh, and a minor question: exactly which version of the Dead Parrot Sketch does Joker think the best? The wording of the final rant varied a bit from the original broadcast to the Hollywood Bowl stage show (from which the record was made) to other performances (and, to be honest, I don't think the one used for the alarm clock is from any of them -- but could be wrong; I can't find my script book ) -- so which does Mistah J prefer? ---- Ping! Ping! Ping! -- Mother Box She's such a chatterbox, sometimes...
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Chris Dee.gothampm	Re: And then there was MY day...	#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3928 04/29/03 22:59 Gothamite	What a good question, Phil. Companion readers may recall that Joker is a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to his TV comedy: while he adores Who's Line is it Anyway, the UK original, he won't even watch the US version with Drew Carrey - as a matter of fact, there's been some muttering around the HA-HAcienda concerning "Drew's Line is it Anyway" that someone at ABC Studios should look into. But I digress. Joker prefers the original broadcast. But Joker is also a bit of a dolt when it comes to his appliances. He sometimes tries to make microwave popcorn in the VCR. So for the alarm clock, he is stuck with the sound bite provided. Eddie Googled it, so the original source could be anything. FREDERICKS OF HOLLYWOOD Would you give it a rest! Everybody whose actually had sex can see what they’re doing. The affected virgin lemmings carp that breasts are sexist. So they reshape the T&A to downplay the T and punch up the A. The undersexed pundits don’t have a clue what’s happening, and right under their noses all the normal guys get an even better show. --Roxy Rocket in a moment of clarity
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JasonBloodOfGotham	Re: And then there was MY day...	#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1611 04/30/03 01:19	looks on in supreme gratification, slow smirk beginning at corners of mouth We're enjoying the ride, Catwoman, indeed we are... Bad Craziness * Dien's Garden “Batman, We’re looking down on Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Roxy Rocket, Harley Quinn and Nocturna starting “Girls’ Night Out” at a LESBIAN POTTERY SHOP. When I say ‘this is bizarre’, you gotta give me something better than a smiling trout.” --Nightwing in Cat-Tales
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stephensmat2	Well.	#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1166 04/30/03 02:19	Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Chrs, thank you once gain for giving us such a fine insight into the world that is Gotham, and showin it from all POV's was a stroke of genius. Not to mention theiggest laugh I've had in a while. I'begginging to get a feel for Joker and harley reasoning. Now then, to business. Who's gonna get the apartment? (I know you're not gonna tell me but it needs to be said.) That bit about it not feeling right when she was wearing the clothes Bruce got her, is that the lingering fallout of the last relationship panic attack, or the begginning edge of a new one? Is the Goon squad's suden interest in her moving going to make her change her mind out of habit just to spite them, or will she realise the simple fact, that after this chapter, if she doesnt move, the rogues are going to form a lynch mob? Why, pray tell, is Jason Blood contacting her now? Joker's hysterical blindness was...well...hysterical to read, most joker scenes are, but Selina used logic in explaining the situation, and logic doesnt really fit into his vocabulary in the traditional sense. so did he get the message? He didnt with the whoe seatbelt thing on the wy to florida so... Incedentially, why hasnt any of the other bad dudes mentioned the whole Catwoman/Batman/Selina/Bruce love triangle/square/whatever? Granted there are rules about making Catwoman comments, but after the Roxy/Harvey/Pam gossip, one would think that the bad dudes would at least mention it, if ony to each other, especialy since they all like Bruce, a hell of a lot more than they like Batman, so why arent they gossiping? What with Selina moving and the picture on the Post... Okay granted, there is a certain amount of fear commanding silence, both from Catwoman, and batman, and granted, none of them should buy anything in he post, although both Joker and Harvey have been having nine kinds of heart attacks over what they're reading, and granted the debte about catwoman and Batman is an old one, but still, even after the three stooges explained the rules to Bruce, ONE of them must be wondering where good old Bruce, their friend, stands on all he Batman/Catwoman rumor. Oh and Selina? As it is, Im going to be moving soon myself, and I was just wondering what proximity your apartment has to various facilities, other than the park which I already know about. (Supermarket, Laundromat, gas staton, that sort of thing.) PS: Jason, exactly where is that quote in the Cat tales series?
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stephensmat2	One thing	#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1166 04/30/03 02:26	While I'm reading this it disgusts me, so I'd like to apologize for all the typing problems. My computer is running incredibly slowly, and some of the rapidly typed letters just didnt go through, or come up on screen, i dont get that, my apologies.
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Jarissa Paxton	Re: One thing	#8	[url]	[-]
Posts: 545 04/30/03 06:16	A little more than halfway through the page, my favorite line so far: Written by the incomparable Chris Dee: “We’re going on a killing spree at the Gotham Post!” he announced. “Cool!” Back to reading I go. Just as soon as I can breathe normally. Jarissa knight of the Cat-Tails Discussion Roundtable
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hazel61	Re: One thing	#9	[url]	[-]
Posts: 439 04/30/03 06:19 Drama Queen	I'm picturing a blind Joker scrambling on all fours after Alfred, and Alfred backing away in horror, and I'm laughing my ass off. Thank you so much, Chris. I needed that. "I see this for what it is: A foolish cat-fan's attempt to make me look ridiculous. Well it won't work I tell you, because there's nothing for you to make fun of and I AM very talented. I am highly trained in combat and am considered a very dangerous woman, in many senses of the word! And I am running what I understand is a very prosperous corporation, and doing well at that. AND I have many other talents as well, like dancing and, yes, tennis, and I enjoy throwing pots and..." -Talia running amok on the Cat-Tales board
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Star Ranger4	Re: Cat Tales 29: Highland Games	#10	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1316 04/30/03 06:28 Adrift in Space	Oh goddesses!!! "I'm like 215 degrees F and He want's to add his 98.6 to it?????" that and... Et tu, Lucas??? "I was an Otaku before those kids came along and changed the meaning of the word." -- HM "Howling Mad" Wilson to more than one team-mate.
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Azrael.gothampm	Re: Cat Tales 29: Highland Games	#11	[url]	[-]
Posts: 740 04/30/03 11:13 Pheromones	*Quote:* “Yes indeed, Gotham Post again. Seeing a pattern here? And oh yes, who are the journalistic giants that announced Azrael is dead and reincarnated as a Sacred Gourd in Yoruba?” Damn, I'm a vegetable?!? Well, I suppose it's a step in the positive direction from "seeing flaming spirits in the sky"... In any case, that was absolutely hilarious (the whole thing, not just the last few paragraphs ). I especially loved Bruce's noticing that there weren't any cats in the house yet. Give it time, Brucie, give it time..a woman that independant is not going to just move lock, stock, and hairball in at the drop of a hat. Simply consider the cat tree as a good sign (she wouldn't bring it just to keep her drink on, unless the cats truly hate it and this was easier than either returning it or shoving it into the closet...) Ahem, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it was another great installment, and you've even got the Az in my head trying to give the Bruce in your head tips on understanding women (yeah, like Az would know...), so you can tell it got me thinking! Excellent work, dear Keeper of the Tales, I look forward to the next installment! Ken/Az/JPV (not dead yet, dammit)
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Chris Dee.gothampm	Re: Cat Tales 29: Highland Games	#12	[url]	[-]
Posts: 3928 04/30/03 17:10 Gothamite	Hey stephen, don't fret about the typing. I've had some unbelievable linguistic meltdowns when the keyboard needs new batteries (and don't get me started on when I was trying voice-rec software!) Why haven't the other bad dudes mentioned the whole Catwoman/Batman/Selina/Bruce love triangle/square/whatever? A fair question. One I might not to into much here, as it is probably worth exploring in the Tales themselves. I will mention this: As you saw in Satori, the rogues have been known to discuss the Bat-Cat angle among themselves - just not when she's around because, well, you've seen what happens. Selina threw a drink in Harvey's face for brushing against the subject ACCIDENTALLY - he was bitching about him and Ivy, and his choice of words hit a little too close to home. >>but Selina used logic in explaining the situation, and logic doesnt really fit into his vocabulary in the traditional sense So true. So very true. Thing is, Selina isn't much of a strategist when she really loses her temper like that. >>so did he get the message? No chance in hell. At moments like that I think even a mind as bonkers as J's can only focus on one single thought: OXYGEN WOULD BE NICE >>after the three stooges explained the rules to Bruce, ONE of them must be wondering where good old Bruce, their friend, stands on all he Batman/Catwoman rumor Also a good point - although there has been an awful lot of outrageous stories about Bruce Wayne over the years too - stuff so lurid and kinky it makes the Batman-Catwoman thing look positively boring. So those who are most plugged in (Harvey certainly) may assume he simply knows better than credit lady rumor. >>especialy since they all like Bruce, a hell of a lot more than they like Batman Very true. Although some are creeped out by the way Joker is so fond of him. That can't be a good thing, can it. --oh btw, Selina screamed and left the thread, but I'll give you the 411 on her apt. GREAT schools, really good health club, and SUPERB restaurants all within spitting distance, but alas, you do kind of lose out on the Supermarket, Laundromat, DryCleaners front. The neighborhood is just too upscale, so while everything is first rate and everybody delivers, it is extremely expensive, even by Gotham standards. Thanks Jarissa, Hazel, SR4! Oh and Az, Jason - buckle up boys, we're just getting started. “Do you, Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle promise to forsake all others and reserve your warped, angst-ridden, dysfunctional nincompoopery for each other, thereby saving at least two innocent people and providing untold hours of fascinated diversion to the rest of us who might otherwise think WE have screwed up relationships!” --Dick Grayson in a moment of clarity
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Nam El Baronoh.gothampm	Female Question	#13	[url]	[-]
Posts: 353 05/02/03 08:13 Wonders	I may be missing something obvious, so let me build my logic, and let you tell me where I am off. Selina is beautiful. Selina is aware she is beautiful Selina likes to tease. Selina in skin tight clothing and glistening with sweat can probably cause men to lose verbal control, and suddenly enter puberty. Why would she not know the value of a sweaty appearence? Granted she might not be in the mood, or feel sexy, but wouldn't she realize how attractive she would be? I mean she managed to blast Bruce from Batman, past playboy, all the way to REALLY HORNY BRUCE, in less then three seconds... What was she irritated for?
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TwoFace275	Re: Female Question	#14	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2455 05/02/03 08:57	Because she had been receiving phone calls all day? Because she wanted to burn stress rather than be ogled? I mean, when your a woman like Selina Kyle, you get checked out quite a lot - it must get tiresome sometimes. "Harvey is Fate's bitch, it's that simple." - Chris Dee that seems to be your tagline. "harvey 'two face' dent...d.a.: this won't end well." - Query "Ooh, sounds good Query. If he ever runs for another office, we can handle his campaigning. Big huge signs saying "This Won't End Well"... bumper stickers... I see it All..." - Lady Dien
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Catwoman Meow	Re: Female Question	#15	[url]	[-]
Posts: 6453 05/02/03 15:00 Feline Fatale	There are many, many levels of irritated from full out: somebody's going to get their eyes scratched out to a fleeting momentary: OH COME ON, it's not a floorshow, it's morning workout. Sheesh. Would she realize how attractive she would be? probably not. You don't feel attractive when you're working out that way. You feel hot & sticky and can't wait to get in a shower and wash the yuck out of your hair. Now it is true, one would normally start feeling a whole lot more attractive once a biscuit like Bruce utters a deep, gutteral "here kitty, kitty." But the other thing to keep in mind is, there are a lot of adjustments in progress right now. Selina is used to turning him on when she intends to: catsuit, purple, naughty grin - or evening dress, short, he likes legs. Living together, even at this stage where she hasn't really moved in, is going to respin everything. And you know how cats are about breaking routine.
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Azrael.gothampm	Re: Female Question	#16	[url]	[-]
Posts: 740 05/03/03 05:10 Pheromones	*Quote:* And you know how cats are about breaking routine. I really, really hate to even attempt to argue with Catwoman, as she would be the expert, but personally I do not feel that it is so much the break from her normal routine that is annoying her; instead, I dare to venture that it is more the realization that she does not have Bruce trained the way she thought she did. Because, let us all face it, the cats train us, we do not train them. So, to restate my case, it's not the change in locale, nor is it another patented Selina commitment-induced freakout. It is simply the deep-down knowledge that she will need to break him in all over again. But look on the bright side, this time she will have Alfred to help her. Provided the cats don't break any of the Ming vases... (At this point in time, Jean Paul AND Azrael would like to point out to the possessor of the dreaded whip that they had nothing to do with this. They respectfully request that you instead work out any annoyances on the bearded wonder. Or the cadaver, except he'd probably enjoy it...)
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TwoFace275	Re: Female Question	#17	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2455 05/03/03 08:54	LOL! "Harvey is Fate's bitch, it's that simple." - Chris Dee that seems to be your tagline. "harvey 'two face' dent...d.a.: this won't end well." - Query "Ooh, sounds good Query. If he ever runs for another office, we can handle his campaigning. Big huge signs saying "This Won't End Well"... bumper stickers... I see it All..." - Lady Dien
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Catwoman Meow	Re: Female Question	#18	[url]	[-]
Posts: 6453 05/04/03 23:12 Feline Fatale	Oh he would? So much for that strict 12th Century upbringing, eh Ra's I'm going to mull over that theory for a while, Ken. Not sure what to make of it And Az, JP, for pity sake, isn't being DEAD enough of a dodge, do you have to hide under the bed as well! I had a tabby like you once, "What ?something break ? ask the dog."
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Azrael.gothampm	Re: Female Question	#19	[url]	[-]
Posts: 740 05/04/03 23:57 Pheromones	I'm DEAD? Excuse me, but are YOU of all people believing something you read in the Gotham Tattler? :P And it's always the dog's fault. Really! You just can't train those canines...
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TwoFace275	Re: Female Question	#20	[url]	[-]
Posts: 2455 05/05/03 11:41	But... you are dead aren't you? DONT TELL ME THE TATTLER LIED TO ME AGAIN! remembers choc cookies and traction incident I mean... I wasnt fooled for a second old buddy old pal. "Harvey is Fate's bitch, it's that simple." - Chris Dee that seems to be your tagline. "harvey 'two face' dent...d.a.: this won't end well." - Query "Ooh, sounds good Query. If he ever runs for another office, we can handle his campaigning. Big huge signs saying "This Won't End Well"... bumper stickers... I see it All..." - Lady Dien
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Cat Tales 29: Highland Games

Cat Tales 29: Highland Games

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