Many of you know John Boorman as the filmmaker behind such classics as Point Blank, Deliverance, Excalibur, and The Tailor of Panama. He's also the guilty party behind Zardoz and Exorcist II: The Heretic. Well, if things had gone differently for him, instead of Excalibur, you would have gotten his re-imagining of Lord of the Rings. Between 1970 and 1976, this was one of the projects he was working on, and got as far as building sets before the project got scrapped. Said sets and parts of his proposed script were repurposed into Excalibur, which for many is the definitive King Arthur movie.
His LotR, on the other hand, would have been kin to Zardoz.
To wit, information on his take can be found here:
http://forums.theonering.com/viewtopic.php?t=51271&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=60 (page 3 of a five-page discussion of his version, script synopsis midway down the page)
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/showthread.php?t=12786 (discussion of an interview with his co-writer Rospo Pallenberg)
http://faculty-staff.ou.edu/C/Janet.B.Croft-1/three_rings_for_hollywood.htm (an examination of Boorman's script, along with the Bakshi misfire and an unused earlier script)
And since I love you guys so much, here are some excerpts from the first two links:
"The chore that was given to us by United Artists was one movie and, at the time, they produced long movies with an intermission. [The script] is 176 pages with an intermission on page 81, after the fellowship goes down the rapids, and you have a sense that they have now reached a great landscape as the river widens." The musical theme for "The Road Goes Ever On" accompanies this closing scene.
The script's first half, then, would have depicted most of The Fellowship of the Ring. Following the intermission, "we accelerated as we continued the story, and dropped things out. We were propelled by what we liked, and invented as we went along."
The screenplay takes liberties with the book, which would have upset Tolkien purists. Perhaps the most provocative change occurs in Lothlorien where, before gazing into Galadriel's mirror, Frodo must become intimate with her (this does not cause friction with husband Celeborn because he is not featured.)
Wow. Celeborn must really be a bad lay if Galadriel wants a piece of Frodo.
Oh, but it doesn't stop there. The rest of the Fellowship wants to do her, too, including Legolas:
After recognizing Galadriel, Legolas - who is clad in feathers and leaves. - tries to catch her attention by doing a bird-like dance.
The way to a woman's heart is the Funky Chicken.
(Oh, and Boromir "bares his muscles" and flexes to impress her. Try to imagine Sean Bean doing this. If you can, and you can avoid laughing your ass off, you're a stronger person than I.)
The adaption is also highly creative and inventive (ideas which Pallenberg still hopes to use in some other epic project). The history of Middle-earth is told in an interesting way, although the writer would do it differently today. "I devised kind of a Kabuki play in which the story of Sauron and the creation of the rings was explained to a gathering in Rivendell. [Reading the script] 'A play has begun. The stage is the table (a huge round table). The acting is stylized, emphatic. As in Kabuki Theater, the costumes are flamboyant, and symbolize beings and entities of Middle-earth.' In other words, with this device, we tried to simplify the backstory. But I think if I were to revisit the scene now, I would think of a faster way of doing it."
Who knew the elves were Japanese theater nuts?
(Oh, by the way, Elrond is bearded in this. Don't ask why.)
New material for the dwarf Gimli came from Pallenberg's fondness for the character. "I remember liking him a lot. I knew quite a bit about Wagner's operas and the German literature. I was sympathetic to him, and I tried to work him in wherever I could. I believe it was I who came up with idea where they bury Gimli in a hole, throw a cape on him, and beat him up to utter exhaustion to retrieve his unconscious ancestral memory." This ancient knowledge allows Gimli to know the word for entering Moria, and to find insights about the ancient dwarf kingdom.
This is sympathetic? Kicking his ass and verbally abusing him just to get a password figured out? I'd hate to see what would have been if Pallenberg and Boorman hated the guy.
He mentioned another change. "There's a duel between the magicians, Gandalf and Saruman. I was inspired by an African idea of how magicians duel with words, which I had read about. It was a way of one entrapping the other as a duel of words rather than special effects flashes, shaking staffs, and all that. I tried to keep away from that a lot, and Boorman did too. [Reads from script]:
GANDALF: Saruman, I am the snake about to strike!
SARUMAN: I am the staff that crushes the snake!
GANDALF: I am the fire that burns the staff to ashes!
SARUMAN: I am the cloudburst that quenches the fire!
GANDALF: I am the well that traps the waters!
S: I am the toilet paper that wipes your ass!
G: I am the shit that fouls your toilet paper!
S: I am the toilet that flushes the shit!
G: I am the sledgehammer that smashes the toilet!
Just so you know, the dialogue excerpt between Gandalf and Saruman was recycled into Excalibur for a Merlin/Morgan Le Fay face-off. I don't remember if it made the final cut or not, though.
Pallenberg continued, "Because it had to be one movie, and we couldn't waste time with too many complicated effects, I was an advocate of eliminating all flying creatures. I thought it would make it too rich, and it would depart too much from the ordinary. John Boorman agreed on that. At Minas Tirith, instead of a flying steed, the Nazgul Chief rides a horse that 'seems to have no skin. Its live, raw, bleeding flesh is exposed.' I still have this feeling that the dazzle can take away from the fundamental drama.
"But making you puke your guts out? That's golden, man!"
Seriously, a skinned, perpetually bleeding horse? This isn't Texas Chainsaw Massacre, guys.
And now, more crap from the script:
The Black Riders have blind skull-like faces.
It's Skeletor's family reunion!
A path leads them out of the swirling petals into a field covered with mushrooms. The HOBBITS are delighted. They set to, picking and eating them as fast as they can. They begin to laugh and giggle, becoming rather unsteady on their feet. They lurch on their way with contented smiles on their faces. The world looks a little misty, different.
Suddenly they are in a field of buttercups. Naked children run and play among the golden flowers. The HOBBITS blink and grin and MERRY belches.
They run over a hill and into a flock of sheep, which opens up to let them through and closes behind them again.
Now they are in a vast ploughed field. And there are perhaps fifty scarecrows, very nasty faces and scraggy arms fluttering in the wind. They hurry on, somewhat sobered.
The last word that comes to mind regarding this script and its writers is "sober."
Frodo first uses the Ring when the hobbits encounter a group of men working in a field. The men have been told that a reward is being offered for capturing a Halfling, and Frodo teases them, saying, Oh, Im a Hobbit of the Shire. Am I the Halfling you desire? Then he somersaults through the air, putting on the Ring as he does so. Afterwards, Frodo excuses himself to Sam: It just got itself to slip itself on.
Is it just me, or does this Frodo have no sense of self-preservation?
In the great hall, Frodo, unconscious, is lain naked and covered with leaves on a large, round crystal table. Arwen is assigned the task of removing the fragment of the wraiths lance from Frodos shoulder, and she does so with a knife. Arwen is about thirteen years of age. The surgery is delicate in that it is, as Gandalf says, a struggle, a test of strength, between the power of Sauron and the power of the Elves. During this scene, Gimli - at Elronds behest - stands poised, ready to chop off Frodos fading arm should Arwen fail.
I can buy the adult Arwen performing the surgery on Frodo, but a 13-year old? Isn't that a bit much to expect? And wouldn't Gimli hovering over her with an axe be setting her up for failure?
Before I forget, Arwen wasn't the only inappropriately young character in the script. Boorman apparently wanted to cast young boys as the hobbits at one point. Try to imagine a young kid as Frodo fucking the adult Galadriel and you've got the idea of just how warped Boorman's ideas were.
Sauron, Elendil, Gil-galad, Saruman, Gandalf, Déagol, Gollum and Bilbo are all portrayed in the kabuki-like play mentioned earlier in this thread. (The actor who plays Sauron is described as a combination of Mick Jagger and Punch.) Additionally, the play features one representative juggler for each of the three races of Middle-earth. Each performer handles a number of juggling rings equal to the number of Rings of Power that was entrusted to the race he represents. Throughout the play, a dog, which symbolizes fate, plays with a ball that is decorated by an encircling gold ring. The ball symbolizes the Ring itself.
And from the third link, for further clarification:
To give Boorman his due, parts of the script have a compelling brilliance, though they are still unlike anything Tolkien wrote. The sober exposition of the Council of Elrond is recast as a fantastic medieval masque representing the history of the Rings. This highly stylized sequence combines elements of Kabuki theater, rock opera, and circus performance, and could almost be imagined as a later retelling of the legend by a tribe of decadent Dark Elves. It is strangely effective, and gets the necessary back-story across, but it is definitely not a straightforward adaptation of Tolkien's work.
A Mick Jagger-like Sauron, circus performers, rock opera…that must have been some damn good cocaine Boorman was on.
Arwen is something of a spiritual guide to the Fellowship -- a sort of guardian angel. She makes two appearances soon after the Fellowship leaves Rivendell. The first is brief: she shows herself to the Company from afar. The second takes place as Aragorn and Boromir come to blows over the fate of Narsil. (Boromir wants to take it to Minas Tirith. Aragorn refuses, and Boromir snatches away one half of the sword.) When their blades meet, Arwen appears, declaring that they shall each bear one half of the sword. They bow, presenting the blades. She kisses the swords, drawing blood. She then kisses each of the men. Both men are moved; and Boromir, weeping, kisses Aragorn, cementing a blood bond.
Two
words come to mind here: OW and HUH?!?
To be continued....
