Best Monologues

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The Thundering Monkey	Best Monologues		Lead	[-]
Posts: 833 06/05/08 08:29	Tags : None To me, some of the best writing in movies is focused in the monologues. Some movies even seem to be made just to set the stage for the character to say this all important collection of sentences. Being such a significant point in any movie, its probably the one place where no writer can afford to skimp. They must bring all their literary powers to bear because this is the part people will remember. If they're going to be moved in some way, it's right there. It can make a good movie a great movie. It can make a funny movie hilarious. If its good enough, it can even salvage something from a mediocre movie. I thought I'd start a thread for people to contribute their favorite movie monologues. I'll start the ball rolling. This is my favorite part from a somewhat obscure movie called The Big Kahuna, starring Danny Devito and Kevin Spacey. Damn if Devito hasn't gotten some good parts over the years. The Big Kahuna written by Roger Rueff Phil: He's honest Bob; he's blunt as well. That sometimes is part of being honest, because there are a lot of people who are blunt. But not honest. Larry is not one of those. Larry is an honest man. You too are an honest man, Bob. I believe that, that somewhere down deep inside you is something that strives to be honest. The question you have to ask yourself is, has it touched the whole of my life? That means that you preaching Jesus is no different than Larry or anybody else preaching lubricants. It doesn't matter whether you're selling Jesus or buddah or civil rights or how to make money in real estate with no money down. That doesn't make you a human being. It makes you a marketing rep. If you want to talk to someone honestly, as a human being… ask him about his kids. Find out what his dreams are. Just to find out. For no other reason. Because as soon as you lay your hands on a conversation to steer it. It's not a conversation anymore. It's a pitch, and you're not a human being, you're a marketing rep. We were talking before about character. You were asking me about character. And we were speaking of faces. But the question is much deeper than that. The question is, do you have any character at all? And if you want my honest opinion Bob, you do not. For the simple reason that you don't regret anything yet. You've already done plenty of things to regret. You just don't know what they are. It's when you discover them. When you see the folly in something you've done. And you wish you had it to do over. But you know you can't because it's too late. So you pick that thing up and you carry it with you. To remind you that life goes on. The world will spin without you. You really don't matter in the end. Then you will attain character because honesty will reach out from inside and tattoo itself all across your face. Until that day however, you cannot expect to go beyond a certain point.
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stephensmat2		#1	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1178 06/05/08 10:01	I agree. A lot of good movies are all building to 'The Moment'. Thing is, a lot of those movie moments aren't monologues. They're scenes, or they're dialogue. I think the best movie monologues are the ones that don't need the movie to be excellent. Thing is, that isn't always easy to find. So, two dramatic, and one comedy. ******* I remember not long after the 9/11 attacks, the Academy Awards were on. The venue had been changed because of what happened, and there was a lot of talk about canceling it. Tom Cruise gave the opening speech that night, and one thing that stuck out in my mind was how the great movies needed 'A Little Magic' With that in mind, there's this monologue, appropriately enough, about a movie theater called "The Majestic." The Majestic was set not too long after WW2, and the owner of this theater was having it reopened, after it had fallen on hard times. You know the type of place, popcorn with the real butter, Art Deco statues, velvet curtains, spotlights shining to the sky outside the door... Owner: That's why we call it The Majestic. Any man, woman, child could buy their ticket, walk right in. Here they'd be, here we'd be. "Yes sir, yes ma'am. Enjoy the show." And in they'd come entering a palace, like in a dream, like in heaven. Maybe you had worries and problems out there, but once you came through those doors, they didn't matter anymore. And you know why? Chaplin, that's why. And Keaton and Lloyd. Garbo, Gable, and Lombard, and Jimmy Stewart and Jimmy Cagney. Fred and Ginger. They were gods. And they lived up there. That was Olympus. Would you remember if I told you how lucky we felt just to be here? To have the privilege of watching them. I mean, this television thing. Why would you want to stay at home and watch a little box? Because it's convenient? Because you don't have to get dressed up, because you could just sit there? I mean, how can you call that entertainment, alone in your living room? Where's the other people? Where's the audience? Where's the magic? I'll tell you, in a place like this, the magic is all around you. The trick is to see it. This second one is from the Sci-Fi Noir legend: Blade Runner. Those of you who've seen it already know what it is. (Spoilers) Lets not kid ourselves here. Batty was a BAD guy. He was a killer of men. But his crimes were driven by a simple desire. To live a little longer. And faced with the simple truth that he couldn't achieve this aim, he stopped short of killing his last victim. He takes his last living moments to explain why it was so important to him; as the rain poured endlessly down on them both: Batty: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those... moments will be lost in time, like... tears in rain. Time to die. *** Here's one from a largely unkown movie called "Finding Forrester", about a reclusive writer, who wrote one masterpiece then essentially fell off the face of the earth. One day, a remarkably talented kid named Jamal Wallace, breaks into his apartment on a dare and against all odds, becomes something of an apprentice to the author. One night they actually leave his apartment, and go to a place that Forrester went years before. A baseball stadium. The place is empty except for them, and Forrester finally confesses to his friend why he never wrote another book: Forrester: My brother and I, we were here for every game. Till he left for the war. I thought it'd be the same when he came back, but, uh, he talked a little less...and drank a little more. I promised my mother I would help him get through it all. So I caught up with him this one night and I was already half a dozen drinks behind. So we had a few more. And after awhile, he tells me he wants to drive me back to the apartment. Heh, I said, "No, thanks." We were all still living there then. I just stood there and watched him drive off. Makes it through the whole goddamn war and I let him drive. Later that night, the nurse was typing whatever it is they type and you know what she tells me? She tells me how much my book meant to her. My brother's getting cold in the next room and all she can talk about is a book. Well...everything changed from then on. Within five months, I buried him, my ma, my father. All of them here in the Bronx. We'd spend our summers here. And if we were lucky, the fall. Jamal: A lot of falls with those teams. Forrester: Yeah, well...not enough. Jamal: "The rest of those who have gone before us cannot steady the unrest of those to follow." You wrote that in your book. ****** And finally, on the lighter side, something from a Steve Martin Movie: Roxxanne. This one was based on the Cyrano story, right down to our monologuer, (C.D. Bales) having a bizarrely long nose. When a dumbass in a bar makes the unfortunate choice of pointing this out, with a zinger that is... somewhat lacking, Mr Steve Martin delivers a marvelous demonstration of how to put a dummy in his place, by coming up with Twenty Better Zingers in full view of everyone in the town: C.D. Bales: Alright. Alright, twenty something-betters. Uh, here goes. Uh, start with, uh... Obvious: Excuse me, is that your nose or did a bus park on your face? Meteorlogical: Everybody take cover, she's going to BLOW! Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore something larger - like Wyoming. Personal: Well, here we are, just the three of us. Punctual: Alright, Delmond your nose was on time, but you were fifteen minutes late! Envious: Ooooooh, I wish I was you! Gosh, to be able to smell your own ear! Naughty: Uh, pardon me, sir, some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't mind putting that thing away. Philosophical: You know, it's not the size of a nose that's important, it's what's in it that matters! Humorous: Laugh, and the world laughs with you - sneeze and it's goodbye Seattle! Commercial: Hi, I'm Earl Shive and I can paint that nose for $39.95! Polite: Uh, would mind not bobbing your head, the, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo. Melodic: Everybody! He's got the whole world -- in his nose! Sympathetic: Awww, what happened, did your parents lose a bet with God? Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the tides? Obscure: Whooof, I'd hate see the grindstone. (a few people laugh) Think about it. Inquiring: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid? French: (with an accent) Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave! Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once! (lots of cheers) How many is that?" "Fourteen, chief!" "Alright, alright. Religious: The Lord giveth, and he just kept on giving, didn't he? (crowd shouts out how many he has after each new one) Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose-hair? Uhhh...paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine! Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up and smell the coffee - in Brazil. Appreciative: Oooooh, how original! Most people just have their teeth capped! Alright, uh...... (crowd shouts encouragement) Alright. Dirty: (leaning towards the original heckler) Your name wouldn't be DICK, would it?" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWNLhptltBg ******* Those of you who know me will be wondering why I didn't mention anything from Aaron Sorkin. As I say, I prefer monologues that don't relate too closely to the show/movie; otherwise you have to explain the background way too much to enjoy it. ********* Oh, and one honorable mention: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1r0kT4q1B4 I put that one in because I liked it, but I've never seen the film. Last Edited By: stephensmat2 06/05/08 10:07. Edited 1 time.
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stephensmat2		#2	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1178 04/08/09 05:47	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4kvjyt39II Let me set the scene for you. It's the future. The rich are richer, and are amusing themselves with new toys. In an age of genetic modification, you can create anything from a full grown, though only two foot tall elephant, or an actual winged horse. The seventh richest couple in the world is visiting one such genetic maestro. A man named Gargrew, played by the incomparable Malcom MacDowell. In discussing their responses to his work, Gargrew suggests what he would say in their place.
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Chris Dee		#3	[url]	[-]
Posts: 788 04/08/09 08:45	This is a great topic, and I want to thank stephensmat for bumping it up (and TM for starting it!) Couple unrelated thoughts before posting some of my own: Stephensmat, eons ago on an early bulletin board called GEnie, I remember the movie forum had a similar thread on movie quotes. The sysop tried over and over to explain what you did: a good movie quote worked out of context. Without seeing Sunset Boulevard, the line "A staff of studio press agents working over time can do terrible things to the human spirit" WORKS without knowing all the circumstances. But alas, said sysop could never get his point across and the kids kept posting the equivalent of Schwarzenegger's "Ice to see you" in Batman & Robin (no, not joking). Also, I had to do a shout-out to Cyrano de Bergerac, on which Roxanne is loosely based, and from which that monologue is taken almost line by line. It's one of the first plays I saw, and if you ever get a chance to see a good company perform it, it is absolutely electric. (A bad company, well, less said the better). The 1990 Gérard Depardieu film is also very good, if you can stomach subtitles - worth it IMO. Okay, enough sidebars, how about some monologues. Babylon 5 and West Wing are both rife with them - both shows are written by playwrights which certainly makes a difference. (Fighting the urge to digress about Joe and B5, somebody remind me later) Not the best from B5, but the first and therefore the most memorable: Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics, and you'll get ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe, and Lao-Tzu, and Einstein, and Morobuto, and Buddy Holly, and Aristophanes…[and] all of this…all of this…was for nothing. Unless we go to the stars. And two from the same character and actor in concurrent episodes of WW. Ron Silver' Bruno Gianelli in The Indians in the Lobby: I have difficulty sometimes talking to people who don't race sailboats. When I was a teenager, I crewed Larchmont to Nassau on a 58-foot sloop called Cantice. There was a little piece of kelp that was stuck to the hull, and even though it was little, you don't want anything stuck to the hull. So, I take a boat hook on a pole and I stick it in the water and I try to get the kelp off, when seven guys start screaming at me, right? 'Cause now the pole is causing more drag than the kelp was. See, what you gotta do is you gotta drop it in and let the water lift it out in a windmill motion. Drop it in, and let the water take it by the kelp and lift it out. In, and out. In, and out, till you got it. [beat] The voters aren't choosing a plumber, Mr. President. They are choosing a president. And if you don't think that your family should matter, my suggestion to you is to get out of professional politics. And if you think that I'm going to miss even one opportunity to pick up half-a-mile boat speed, you're absolutely out of your mind. When it costs us nothing, when we give up nothing?! You're out of your mind. And from Gone Quiet: Because I'm tired of working for candidates who make me think that I should be embarrassed to believe what I believe, Sam! I'm tired of getting them elected! We all need some therapy, because somebody came along and said, "'Liberal' means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense, and we're gonna tax you back to the Stone Age because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to!" And instead of saying, "Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun, Leave It To Beaver trip back to the Fifties...!", we cowered in the corner, and said, "Please. Don't. Hurt. Me." No more. I really don't care who's right, who's wrong. We're both right. We're both wrong. Let's have two parties, huh? What do you say? And finally, I'm sure I mentioned Sideways, a pair of monologues that reminded me we are still ALLOWED to do monologues. Virginia Madden's character has one on why she tastes wine, the things it makes her think about, etc. It's good stuff, but no one ever notices it because it comes right after Paul Giamatti's on pinot noir, which you simply have to see. --Chris Dee Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Superpowers corrupts - superbly. --Identity Element
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Star Ranger4		#4	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1316 04/09/09 13:26 Adrift in Space	Somehow, this one has always held a spot in my heart since the first time I saw Mr. Roberts... The Captain wrote: lt was not my idea coming to this liberty port. lt seems one of my officers arranged it with a certain port director. Gave him a bottle of scotch whiskey, compliments of the Captain. The port director was kind enough to send me a thank-you note... ...along with our order. Sit down, Mr. Roberts. Now l admit l was a little provoked about not being consulted... ...then l got to thinking maybe we ought to come to this port... ...so as you and me could have a talk. Now you listen to me. l've got two things l want to show you. That is the cap of a full commander. l'm going to wear that cap some day, and you're going to help me. lt won't do any harm to tell you that you helped me win that palm tree... ...by working cargo. Don't let this go to your head. When Admiral Finchley awarded me that palm tree, he said: ''You've got a good cargo officer. Keep him at it. You're going places.'' And l went right out and bought that hat. And nobody is gonna stand between me and that hat! Certainly not you. Now last week it was agreed... ...that there was to be no more of these ''disharmony'' letters. And what do l find on my desk this morning? Another one. lt says here, ''friction between me and the commanding officer.'' That ain't goin' in, Mister. Just how much do you want this crew to have a liberty? Enough to stop this ''friction''? Enough to stop writing letters ever? 'Cause that's the only way this crew is going to get ashore... ...this day or any other day. Now we've had our little chat. What do you say? You're a smart boy, Roberts. But l know how to take care of smart boys. l hate your guts, you smart college guys! l've been seeing your kind around since l was ten years old, working as a busboy. ''Oh, busboy, it seems my friend has thrown up on the table. ''Clean up that mess, boy, will you?'' And then when l went to sea as a steward, people poking at you with umbrellas. ''Oh, boy! You, boy! Careful with that luggage, boy! '' And l took it. l took it for years! But l don't have to take it anymore. There's a war on and l'm Captain of this vessel. Now you can take it for a change. The worst l can do to you is to keep you right here, Mister! And here is where you're going to stay! Now, get out! Hear that thunder rolling till it seems to split the sky? That's every ship in Grayson's Navy taking up the cry- NO QUARTER!!! -- "No Quarter", by Echo's Children
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Igor.gothampm		#5	[url]	[-]
Posts: 805 04/09/09 16:43 Books. Cats. Life is GOOD	From "The Lion in Winter": Eleanor of Aquitaine: Of course he has a knife. He always has a knife. We all have knives. It's 1183 and we're barbarians. How clear we make it. Oh, my piglets, we're the origins of war. Not history's forces nor the times nor justice nor the lack of it nor causes nor religions nor ideas nor kinds of government nor any other thing! We are the killers; we breed war. We carry it, like syphilis, inside. Dead bodies rot in field and stream because the living ones are rotten. For the love of God, can't we love each other just a little? That's how peace begins. We have so much to love each other for. We have such possibilities, my children; we could change the world.
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stephensmat2		#6	[url]	[-]
Posts: 1178 08/22/09 21:44	The Great Speech You'll be amazed how much of it you recognize.
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Chris Dee		#7	[url]	[-]
Posts: 788 09/16/09 10:28	It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now: Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something… That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for.
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